Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
