im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
did i just pee glitter
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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