I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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