im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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