do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize