Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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