It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
