does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
North Korea, Best Korea!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
