me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
