Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
