just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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