OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
