kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
