Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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