i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
