In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We left the knife in your bed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
