i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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