Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize