addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
