how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
