just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
