i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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