Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
