Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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