loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize