Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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