ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
