then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
