Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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