I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
