For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize