the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
