ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
