38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
