his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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