I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
