I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize