Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
