we're blogging at a bar
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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