u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
