Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
