The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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