remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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