For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
