what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You don't make any sense
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