so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize