I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize