It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
