I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
