i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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