I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
