I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
