We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
