shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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