I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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