fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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