I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
