What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
