dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
