IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
