just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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