just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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