Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
